Future Is Today

Feelin’ bLue..

Antapani, @myRoom, 8-Des-2k7
{-Backsong: Ungu – Cinta Dalam Hati.mp3-}

Hari ini adalah hari spesial buat sobat gw. My .. estie. She got married today. And aL pergi ke resepsiannya bareng ma ade aL (nDaiz), Ramdhani dan temennya (Jajang).

Well, nothin’s wrong happen b4. But then, aneh banged. Ada feeling aneh muncul di hati. Seperti dua sisi mata uang. Ada seneng, tapi juga sedih. Seneng coz she got married dengan cowo pilihannya. Yang sejak dulu aL bantu estie untuk selalu positif ma dia. Selalu force dia ‘tuk berfikir bahwa jodo pati bagja cilaka ada di Alloh swt, and semoga dia (agus) adalah jodonya estie. And of course, as her bestfriend i also pray for it too.

And .. sedihnya, aL ko jadi ngerasa keilangan dia?! I should be happy, but at that time i also got that blue feeling too. Ah pokona aneh welah.

Sumtimes i got the guilty feelin’. Got the ‘?’ question mark inside. Coz, a few days ago before she got married. When we make our last contact by phone. Dia sempet ngomong, “..u know aL, perasaan aL persis sperti saat estie menyaksikanmu jadian dengannya.. ada feeling keilangan, seneng juga sedih..”

Wha..? Ko bsa gni sei? aL ko bsa ngerasa keilangan dia? And dia juga gitu? Apa perhaps karena persahabatan qt yang ckup lama (since she’s still xMU 2nd class). And saat itu aLdh kerja di Trisco Trisula (20 y.o), while she’s still 16 y.o. So, skarang dah k/l 7 years? Apa karena perjalanan persahabatan aL yg cukup intense ma dia, meski qt gada komitmen buat pacaran? Apa karena she’s a Great Listener and aL too? Apa karena …..?

..Sh*t too much ‘?’ question mark inside..

But then i awake from my question marks. Back to reality bahwa smua adalah taqdir. (thanks 2u Gier). And as her bestfriend aLwz, I should be happy and be free for her. Accept that as one of the Greatest Grand Design of Alloh swt.

I think that the backsong was related enough with my feelin’ me now. -heheh- But then again i got to awake. Just to remember her within my souls.

..So here’s just to remember.. nothin’ else..
Hemm, as to prove u of how intense my friendship was. Once within our relationship. She ever cried to me, as i also to her. Its all about our relationship each other. I mean she with her boy, and me with my girl. And,, as far as i remember. We didnt spoke about it, to other person except between us. And it feels that she’s so secured with me and I’m too. But, as I mentioned b4, i didnt have a love and tingling feelin’ each other. Just to care, nothing more.

Yeah,, but above it all, Alloh swt knows much than i am..

Last on that phone, she declared that, “..i wont forget u aL. InsyaAllah, As far as i lived. u’Re my bestfriend alwz..”

For estie diana fitri, “..hope you’ll be a great wife to him.. Moga kalian berdua menjadi keluarga yang sakinah, mawaddah, warrahmah tur dipaparinan barokah ti Alloh swt..Aamiien..”

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